5/8/24 hello there! wow, it's been a while. however, not much has happened. at all. at least, nothing too exciting. just going on walks, meeting up with friends, etc. but i've also been feeling kind of depressed lately? if i let my mind wander it'll leave me an empty, hollow mess on my bed. at least i have my plushies though. speaking of plushies, i got a max plushie and i love him so much isn't he just so.,. fuckng.,. AWESOME!??!??? urghghhhh,,, god i love this stupid creature. i got into sam & max in april so when i found out there was a plushie i KNEW i had to have him. i'm planning on getting the actions figures next.... *evil laughter*

yesterday, i was talking to a friend of mine. he was feeling down, so i drew something for him really quick. it was a little doodle of myself saying "don't give up!". when i handed it to him, he smiled and walked away. now he keeps it taped on the inside of his notebook so that when he draws something, he gets a little motivation from me. i may act like an asshole sometimes, but i really hate seeing my friends say horrible things about themselves. i just wanted to give him something so that when he moves away next school year, he doesn't forget about me.
12/17/23 i'm getting the bugbo plushie!! i ordered it about two days ago and it will arrive in around april/may, which is literally around my birthday (may 13th) i'm so excited!! but five months is a really long wait. now enough of the good, let's get into the bad. i've been feeling really... melancholic? lately and i don't know why. all i wanna do is listen to music and sleep all day because life is stupid and boring boooo >:( i'm also getting back to recoding this entire website because i don't really like how it looks and i also have a lot more resources/more knowledge on coding in my hands so i can make my website look even better!! anyway time to go back to bugbo plushie brainrot, and how my platonic love is kinda. well. nevermind
11/30/23 i'm so bored. every day feels the same. i get up, go to school, and do useless stuff on the internet as a means of escape from boredom and the doom and gloom in the world. stimming and my hyperfixations are the only things that make me feel alive, so i make sure to attach myself to them and never let go. ever. anyway nobody loves a fictional character more than a neurodiverse teen girl. period *epic mic drop*
11/25/23 why should i have to apologize for MY mental illness? it's not like i wanted it. it's not my fault i'm like this, it's YOURS. maybe you should've been better parents. maybe my sister shouldn't have been so stupid. maybe, just maybe, if everyone in this family could get their shit together, we could be happy. we could be NORMAL. maybe i wouldn't be like this if everything was nice all the time. i know life has its ups and downs, but sometimes the downs are just too much to handle. all i'm hoping for now is that nothing bad happens in january. please. i just want us to be happy
11/23/23 HAPPY TURKEY DAY YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S ALL SIT BACK, RELAX, AND HAVE SOME FUN THIS THANKSGIVING WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!! too bad i'm just sitting here coding... at least i'm making something super duper pretty! i know it's all gonna work out in the end because LIFE IS AWESOME!!!! ＼(＾▽＾)／ i'm just gonna keep on coding until i'm dragged out of my room to eat or something, like usual :3
11/23/23 bugboooo we're gonna find yooou we're gonna help you ooout and save your liiiiife ohhh buuugboooo we're gonna stop hiiiim we're gonna end his plaaans you'll be alriiight,, aaaand if we don't find you you'll probably die, and that would be bad because i would much cry, i'd drown in my tears and eat my own ears and face all my fears the grief would last yeaaars ohhh buuugbo (bugbooo) we're gonna find yooou (we're gonna find yooou) and save your liiife (and save your liiife) ohhh buuugbooo (bugbooo) we're gonna stop hiim (we're gonna stop hiiim) we're gonna end his plaaans (we're gonna end his plaaans) you'll be alriiight (you'll be alriight) ,,,, :3
11/1/23 i fucking love thomas flyswatter. i remember the day i sat down and watched bugbo: a familiar foe and thomas flyswatter came on screen and i stimmed and vibrated so violently that i exploded and brought my house to the ground. that day, that moment, is when i found my purpose in life, the reason i was born, and the reason why i still live today: to love thomas flyswatter. there isn't a milisecond that passes by where i don't think of thomas flyswatter. not a single moment where i don't want to draw him. i can't even try to escape him because he's everywhere. he's in my dreams. he speaks to me as a voice in my head. i can feel his presence near me. i listen to his theme song on loop every day for hours on end. i just want to talk to him. i want to wear his clothes. i want to sleep next to thomas flyswatter with my thomas flyswatter body pillow in my thomas flyswatter bed in my thomas flyswatter room in my thomas flyswatter house with thomas flyswatter flowers outside on the lawn. i want to hug him and to spend every waking moment with him. i want to crush him in my hands and feel his plastic dig into my skin as i watch my blood slowly drip to the floor. i want to melt thomas flyswatter and bake him into cupcakes for me to consume just so my body can feed off of his chemicals. i want to rip all of my stupid fucking organs out of my body and cut them into microscopic pieces because what's the fucking point if thomas flyswatter doesn't exist in the real world. thomas flyswatter is everywhere. i can't even go outside without being reminded of him. everything relates back to him, and i wouldn't want it any other way. i don't care if people call me crazy, deranged, or delusional. i fucking love thomas flyswatter.